my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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