Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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