we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
