I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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