he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
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I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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