your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
