so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
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He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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