if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
