I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
