I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
