you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Did you just see the Batmobile???
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
