how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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