Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
