my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
