I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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