? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I want her autograph on my taint
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am one with the molecules
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
