life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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