Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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