she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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