somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
