So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize