the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize