Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
