he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
