Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize