you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I just sharted jello shots
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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