bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
