those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
