you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
