This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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