he puts the penis in happiness.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
