I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
