check it out our google latitudes are spooning
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
