My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Two words: blizzard sex
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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