you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
