Dude my mom stole all your condoms
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
