so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
