you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
