found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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