I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
