how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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