If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
