I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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