You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You can't motorboat a personality
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
