He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
