We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
