Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
