You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize