im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
