Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
