I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
