Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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