quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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