I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
