Small penises have feelings too.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
