i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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