I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
