She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
