there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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