And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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