maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
