Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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