They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
