I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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