you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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